More lowbrow.

I once asked the janitor what his favorite 40oz was. He said, "the one that Lando Calrissian sonnuva bitch drinks."

Good answer.

I woke up one morning after halloween with a ticket on my nightstand.

Apparently I had been lying down piss drunk on the sidewalk the night before dressed as a pirate when a cop happened along.

The cop asked, "Sir, are you okay?"

All I did, according to the cop, was poke him with my piece-of-shit plastic sword, and yell "ARRRR!"

It may have costed me fifty bucks, but damn, that's a good story to tell people.