Good toasts (via fark.com):

May the saddest of your tommorows be happier than the happiest of your yesterdays

"Heres to the nights we can't remember, with the friends we'll never forget"

Champagne for my real friends. Real pain for my sham friends.

From the Royal Navy:
Wednesday: "Ourselves and no one like us."
Thursday: "A bloody war and a quick promotion"
Friday: "A willing foe and searoom."

(for a wedding):
To the new couple.
Never sweat the petty things.
But always pet the sweaty things.

"People will hate you,
But someday, I assure you, they will die."

Here's to our noble selves, there's so few of us left

Here's to the corkscrew - a useful key to unlock the storehouse of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the gate of pleasant folly.

"We might not get what we want
we might not get what we need
But God help us if we ever get what we deserve"

May your family stop askin' why you drink and start askin' if you're thirsty.

here's to ol' grandad, a fine ol' gent
when it's my time to go, i want to go as he went
he died in his sleep, dreaming of places afar
not yelling and screaming, like the folks in his car