2.24.2005

I got another rejection letter yesterday. Yay for me.

I've been sending more of my work out into the great wide world, so hopefully somebody will pick it up. We had another Studio1 meeting last night (the campus literary journal) and both the poem and the story I submitted made it past the first round of reviews. I was sure not to say anything about them; I just claimed that I recognized the work.

I hope some stuff gets accepted. Then I won't have to send it out again. Postage is expensive.

2.21.2005

My cousin, Johanna, was in the girls' state hockey tournement this weekend; Courtney and I saw the whole game on TV. Pretty exciting.

Courtney and I also learned how to play Gin, which is a lot of fun. We were looking for a two-handed card game that we both liked, and I think we've found one.

I almost had a chance to go kayaking this weekend, but the Vermillion froze up before I could get down to it. Hopefully we'll get another string of warm days to open things up.

2.16.2005

Funny Jokes. Kinda.


A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, 'Sir, you are drunk.' Churchill replies, 'Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. (Emo Philips)


I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?' (Steven Wright)

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

2.14.2005

Happy valentine's day everybody.

What's the fastest way to a girl's heart?






Probably a scalpel.
Turns out Muhammed Ali was a witty guy. My favorite of his quotes:

In a southern eating establishment:

Waitress: Sorry, we don't serve negros here

Ali: Nah, I don't eat 'em 'neither. Just give me a couple of burgers and a vanilla shake

2.13.2005

I took the LSAT yesterday, which wasn't completely terrifying. I think I was as prepared as I could be, and the test itself felt comparable to my preptests, so I felt pretty good about it. Then I went to Cash Wise, got myself some picnic supplies, and read a book in the sun for the rest of the afternoon. At night Courtney and I went to Erbert and Gerbert's for yummy sandwiches. It was a good day.

Today: homework. Oh, and I got to be helpful by picking a lock for a friend of mine. I demanded chocolate in return.

2.06.2005

Since I've been getting back into writing I've been posting some of my stuff online, both at www.lit.org and www.writingforums.com. My username at both of them is jetman_jake.

2.02.2005

Bwahahahaha. The guy on the Taster's Choice jars didn't know they were using his image. I'd love to handle this sort of case.

What else... I've been writing a lot, some of my stuff is up on lit.org, just search for author: jetman_jake. Woot.