4.29.2005



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
these Google Hacks."

I'm getting there

4.28.2005

Thinking Machine 4: Play the Game is pretty cool. Play chess against a computer and watch it think and work out it's moves.

4.27.2005

More lowbrow.

I once asked the janitor what his favorite 40oz was. He said, "the one that Lando Calrissian sonnuva bitch drinks."

Good answer.







I woke up one morning after halloween with a ticket on my nightstand.

Apparently I had been lying down piss drunk on the sidewalk the night before dressed as a pirate when a cop happened along.


The cop asked, "Sir, are you okay?"

All I did, according to the cop, was poke him with my piece-of-shit plastic sword, and yell "ARRRR!"


It may have costed me fifty bucks, but damn, that's a good story to tell people.

4.26.2005

Another funny lowbrow story (though it's not mine):

3 a.m.- we had eaten a large cheese pizza and drank way too much kamchatka vodka (on the bottom shelf at every supermarket)...

"you know what sounds good?" my roommate asked

"don't say it," i replied

"donuts"

"damn you"


we drank more, wasting time, then drunkenly rode bicycles to the donut store...


we were waiting when they opened at 4:30 a.m.

4.25.2005

There is a dictionary website that translates various 'urban' slang into phrases that us honkeys can understand. The following is the defenition for the phrase, fo' shizzle my nizzle: 'fo shizzle ma nizzle' is a bastardization of 'fo' sheezy mah neezy' which is a bastardization of 'for sure mah nigga' which is a bastdardization of 'I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother'

4.18.2005

130_3024


130_3024
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

shore.4.050019


shore.4.050019
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

shore.4.050021


shore.4.050021
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

shore.4.050011


shore.4.050011
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

shore.4.050034


shore.4.050034
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

Saturday morning I headed up to the north shore to meet Jason, a guy I had paddled with on the Kettle. We found out the water was turned on from the Beaver river on up, so we drove another hour or so up the shore to run the Upper Baptism, a class II-III. We ran a shuttle and then got on the river, which was mostly manuvering around boulders and boogie water until we saw a bedrock intrusion and a big rooster tail shooting off to the side. We eddied out quickly and pulled our boats off the water, which was good, since the river dropped over a 20-25 foot broken, ugly, rocky waterfall to the river below. We saw one possible line, but the water was low enough so it was likely we could get our boats pinned at three separate locations. We decided to walk it. I put my boat in to slide down the last five feet or so, then we paddled onward through some more rock-dodging and a few 2-3 foot ledges. It was a good run, though not much of a nail-biter.

We camped at a campsite that happened to be the take-out and hiked the Lower Baptism, which is a solid class IV with some class V. We saw Two-Step, which was a 10-12 foot falls to a small pool, then another narrower, meaner falls of about the same height. We realized we couldn't run the river with just the two of us, since neither of us knew the river and it would be impossible to set saftey. Later, we ended up hanging out with another group of paddlers who were at the campsite, and we decided to paddle the Manitou with them.

Sunday, after a long shuttle and waiting for everybody to get ready, we set off. The first mile or so was slow goings through an alder swamp, then we heard thunder and saw a smoking horizon line. We portaged a 60 foot, broken, mean looking waterfall which, though it may have been run, is basically a mandatory walk. We then were treated to some fun rock-dodging boulder garden paddling before we had to portage along the Superior Hiking Trail around an unrunnable Class VI canyon. We put in again into some more boulder gardens. Jason and I were the last two in a group of 11, and as we rounded a bend we saw them taking out on both sides to scout a significant horizon line. As I was eddying out Jason got flipped, then his boat pinned on a rock. He struggled for a moment, then popped his skirt and swam. I turned my boat into the current so I could catch him and paddle him to shore before he was pulled over the rapid. He let go of his boat and swam, making it to the eddy. I missed the eddy and realized I was going to run the rapid blind. One guy, who was at the brink of the falls, motioned me over until I was on line, then I plunged over an 8 or 10 foot falls. My line was good and I was spit cleanly out the bottom, where I chased down Jason's boat. I had run my first big falls blind, while chasing a boat. Good times.

We had another series of ledges and boulders, with one of the more experienced paddlers swimming after getting stuck below a technical ledge. Later, dropping down a 3 foot ledge Jason was flipped again. He tried to roll up, half-assed his roll a couple times, then swam again. We scrambled to get his boat and gear to shore, then it was a pain in the ass to get his boat back to him, since they were on opposite sides of the river, which was full of boulders, and we were above another Class IV drop. Eventually we managed, and as Anette (one of the rescuers) and I got into our boats Jason headed downstream and swam again over another ledge. Apparantly it was an ugly swim, and this time he lost his paddle. When I got downstream and ran the ledge (part of it backwards after getting turned around and recovering) Jason was hiking out, since he lost his paddle the 3rd time. The group went on, down to 10, and we ran a larger, maybe 12 foot, falls, which was a blast. More boulders and ledges ensued, then we took out before a monster waterfalls that has never been run and probably never will be. We saw the falls with the sun at our backs, and the mist created a perfect rainbow bridging the canyon.

We hiked out the rest of the way to Hwy 61, then I threw all of my gear in Jason's truck, remembered how to drive a stick shift, then headed out to pick him up near the put-in. After that, I headed home.

I'll have photos soon.

4.14.2005

The Decadent West: DW Vs. Five Year Olds: Bring It On, Motherfuckers

This is funny. Terrible. But way funny.

If you were in an enclosed arena, how many five year olds could you take down?

4.13.2005

I was paddling hard for about 4 hours today. A grad student came up from the U, and it was his first time paddling this year. He swam 3 times, each time pretty much in the middle of the Mississippi. I had to bulldoze his boat back to shore each time, and the 3rd time it happened he let go of everything, so I had to collect his paddle then chase his boat halfway into St. Cloud. He owes me beer.

Other than the boat chasing it was a great day; I got some good surfs in and was able to drop back into the hole that kicked my ass the last few times I was in it.

I'm tired now.
I just read a novel, Choke, by Chuck Palahniuk, in 2 days. I'm not altogether sure how I did that. Good book though, not quite as good as Survivor, but good. I'm a fan of his style; really dark, but still with a sense of humor.

4.12.2005

I had a pretty good weekend of paddling; made it to the Snake and the Kettle. Kettle was pretty cool at high water, a few big munchy holes that wouldn't have been much fun to get into.

Poetry slam at SJU this week, which I'm still trying to organize. Should be fun, as long as we have enough participants. Here's hopin'.

4.07.2005

I found this today. It made me laugh:

I was raging drunk after a night of taking shots of Bacardi 151 in my dorm room. In my intoxicated frenzy I demonstrated to my friends how one could go about breathing fire with a swig of the highly potent(and highly flammable) spirit. The first time I did it, they seemed pretty impressed. The second time around they were peering out of the second story window I had just fallen out of, after having set my hands on fire.

4.05.2005

I finally signed up for my space: http://www.myspace.com/12727180

Tilt-A-Whirl 2


Tilt-A-Whirl 2
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.
This hole beat me up a few times. Boo.

Big Wave 1


Big Wave 1
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.

Zinger


Zinger
Originally uploaded by Jetman Jake.